South Beach Phase 1 Cream Cheese Pancakes

Enough is enough, I thought to myself, as my heart sank into my toes. The 3rd person in a week, my normally very nice manicurist, had just asked when I was due. Fighting the urge to ask what the ugly lump three feet above her ass was (OH IT’S YOUR FACE?! I HAD NO IDEA!), I smiled, laughed and said “oh no, I’m not pregnant, just fat!” I am tired of uttering that phrase and cannot believe the number of people who think it’s totally acceptable to comment on my body.

I hold my weight around my midsection. I know it looks like a tiny person is growing there. However…not pregnant. Even if I were, I would expect NOBODY to ask when I was “due” until I brought it up myself. It’s just common courtesy.

Anyway, all that being said, it’s time to get back on the diet/exercise train. I had unexpected surgery about a month ago and then promptly got very sick with an upper respiratory infection/sinus infection for 2.5 weeks. Food wasn’t tasting good to me and I could barely drive, let alone work out. I am FINALLY all healed up and healthy and ready to go!

South Beach Phase 1 is my nemesis. I tried it before and had no luck, but I am going to give it another go. High protein, low carb, NO SUGAR. Arg. It’s so hard. The hardest part is no sugar, because oh my gosh, do I ever have a sweet tooth!! Especially when I’m upset or stressed. So the worst parts of the day are first thing in the morning and last thing at night. I scoured the internet for some good breakfast recipes that don’t involve eggs, because while I love them, eating them for breakfast every day WITH veggies makes me wanna barf.

I found this recipe on 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet, which might be my new favorite place on the entire internet. Cream Cheese “Pancakes” are the best! Since no fruit or sugar is allowed in Phase 1 of South Beach, I paired these with some Walden Farms Calorie Free Pancake Syrup. It’s sugar free, gluten free, and calorie free. I know I know…it’s not exactly an all natural organic product, but I really don’t care at this point since it helps me get a little sugar kick! The sweetener I used in the batter is erythritol, which I use rather than Splenda, stevia, etc, all of which I hate. If you haven’t yet, read about erythritol, it’s amazing and tastes great! Because you are supposed to have 1/2 a cup of veggies at breakfast (which is also hard for my sweet tooth to handle), I grilled up some tomatoes in the pan and ate those along side my pancakes with some salt and pepper. Yum.

I am going to add 1 tablespoon each of almond meal and garbanzo bean flour next time I make this to see if I can get a thicker pancake. These taste amazing but were a bit thin, and who doesn’t want more healthy protein in their pancakes?

I’ve had some questions about where I get a lot of my weirdo ingredients. I buy most of them through, and here is a referral link if you’d like $10 off your first order 🙂 


South Beach Phase 1 Cream Cheese Pancakes

2 oz. Neufchatel cheese
2 eggs
1 tsp. no-calorie sweetener
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon

1) Blend all ingredients together in a blender or food processor. Let batter rest for about 2 minutes to let the bubbles dissipate. The batter will be very thin.

2) Heat a nonstick pan over medium high heat with a tsp of coconut oil.  (Here’s why I prefer coconut oil)

3) Pour batter on skillet in pancake sized dollops and cook about 2 minutes per side or until golden brown. Serve with calorie free syrup (or berries if you’re out of phase 1)



More things about fat

Hey friends! Time to update you. I’ve lost…not that many pounds. BUT! I have noticed that my bumps are getting less bumpy, my cellulite is going away, and my energy level is going up up up. So I count that as a big FAT win. I honestly had to give up South Beach because oh muh guh. Sorry. I can (if I must) give up sugar, and starch, and caffeine. But fruit was my downfall. I LOVE IT. I can’t take not having an apple or some blueberries or something. So you know what?

I PUT IT BACK IN MY DIET. As my friend Heather says, if it grows on a tree, it’s pretty healthy, so don’t stress too much about eating fruits and veggies, you know? I love her. She’s so wise.

So crazily, even though that last entry was in February, some of ya’ll must be Facebook stalking me because it blew the hell up this week. I got a ton of comments on it. I also got private messages from friends doing their own diets, workouts, etc, just sharing stories. And guys, let me tell you…I know a lot of determined people. And you guys are warriors. And you know what?

Fat is just FAT. It’s not a measure of your worth, it doesn’t determine your coolness, your prettiness, your confidence. I know I sound like a fucking self help book right now but SERIOUSLY. Some of the shit I’ve heard girls say about their gorgeous perfect selves just because of a little fat?! COME ON. Get it together now, people. You are awesome. Fat doesn’t make you less awesome! Fat wants you to make it CRY because you’re sweating and getting healthy and having fun. Even if I stayed fat forever but was working out every day…I could live with that as long as I got that work out high and felt good about my efforts.

So please friends…keep working, keep making wise choices, but don’t forget to have fun. One Reese’s cup or a glass of wine will not kill you or make you gain 5 pounds. LIVE A LITTLE! Or a lot.

And just to drive this home, here are some pictures of full figured models that I’m in love with. Tell me you don’t think they’re sexy. I DARE YOU.



Crystal Renn




Kat Denning